so i didn't write yesterday, so what? no, just kidding. i apologize for that. i should haven't but didn't. i was too lazy and a little sick. i had a runny nose, watery eyes, and my throat hurt so much. but all that is over, i hope. i will have the after noon off tomorrow;  for i have a dr's appointment to have a general check up and stuff. i hope all goes well. i haven't been to the doctor in the longest time. also, a bout that problem with my liver; i hope its better now. my back doesn't hurt as much or my tummy, but i just want to be safe and of course, god willing i will be fine. 


i did not write in the past days due to the way i was feeling. i've been a bit down and heartbroken. i am only 20 and i fight against myself all the time. i ask myself why i feel such way, but nothing is ever clear. i feel lonely, with no friends, and just depressed overall. i pray to my lord jesus christ to give me the strength to move forward. others have it tougher out there, why am i crying for?...i just want peace of mind and happiness. i am glad my family is healthy and do not lack of anything but time to spend together, other than that, we are happy. i pray for everyone. i pray that everyone's hearts are kind and humble and for everyone to be rational and try to be in everyone's shoes for once, at least to understand each other a bit better.


at times i feel like i am not normal. and at times (like the past days) i pray to be normal and ordinary. just that cool girl that fits in. i mean i'll try it once now and then, but i get bored. i can't help staying in a straight line amongst the rest. the point here is that i, just like everybody else wants to be happy and acknowledged. that's all. 


in other news i started my own little business. but more about that next time. thanks for reading. 
that's all for now folks. 
farewell for now.<3