other people have greater problems. why do i always find a way to feel miserable? i am good, my family is good. everything is good. the only thing hurting at this moment is my heart. it really hurts. i can't seem to move on.
i guard my heart with a shield, i take care of it; for it has been hurt. it is my temple, my home and i shall preserve it. i will soon move on, and i understand time heals all wounds. it is very hard to forget the past. and i'm not even sure if i have forgiven...i do forgive and i will do so, but in the meantime i must look ahead; which is what i have been doing lately. i am coming up with new ideas and inspirations, but at times i hurt so much that i have no energy to do anything but reminisce of the past, and the present, and what the future might hold. i'm afraid of staying alone for a long time, and i am afraid of no one ever finding me, and meeting the real me. my ex boyfriend is the past, but why does he seem so present in my life? my mind needs to rest. all this time alone at work makes my head spin and perhaps a bit silly. that explains these silly thoughts. i hate thinking this stuff but i do realize it is the enemy making me think like this. my lord guides me; therefore, i shall not fear. they are just thoughts that come and go as the time does. the moment i am alone, i feel sad, but the moment i am doing something productive, i am fine. i do not want to jump into any relationship now, but if it happens, the doors are open.
this week i have a few outings. i hope to go to dinners and meet up with old friends. i hope all goes well.
in other, better news: my aunt from san angelo, texas arrives today. she will be visiting my family and my grampies for an entire week, which is great. tia lucy brings haley over (her daughter) who i love so much. she's an adorable little angel. i'll post pictures soon.
for now, all i pray to achieve for the day is a workout routine and well,
a joyful and peaceful evening.
many blessing, krispi.
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