speechless.

i haven't written here lately. i have nothing much to say. although yesterday i had a great night.


one of those nights where everything is so unexpected, and turns out wonderful. this boy that i know treated me like a queen. the way i've always wanted to be treated like. he knows who he is. he can sure make a girl happy. he sure made me happy. i have never been treated like that. my self esteem is beneath me. it is slow and i am working on getting up there again. i mentioned to him that i haven't been myself lately, and that i wish to be myself again.
 in order to love someone, i need to love myself first. i lost all dignity that day i cried and begged him to stay. i'm in recuperation. yet, although, i'm in the process of looking ahead, my heart still is broken, and has not healed.
only time can say when my heart will heal. although there is someone out there that can heal my wounds, as he states, i need to heal them first on my own. i need to be free in heart, mind, and soul.  but i am grateful for the opportunities god provides me. he provides me with hope.


i have been broken lately, but i promised to not let that happen again. i am really trying. for my family, and myself.